Panel Review

This is going to be an unusual post for me as I usually try to leave the more technical side of fostering outside of this blog. But, I couldn't let what happened Friday go without mention to my dear blogger friends. Friday morning we had a panel review for Morgan's case. Simply put, a panel review is a panel of volunteer citizens who basically hear all sides of the case out and then make a recommendation to the court as to how to proceed with the case. This was the first panel review that I have had to go to and I was really nervous as we are getting to the critical 12 month mark in the case. I have really tried to be hopeful about all of it for me and Morgan, but try as I might I still feel badly for her mom. The poor girl just doesn't realize that life can be better than not working and going from shelter to shelter living and finding organizations to feed and clothe you. As Morgan's parent aide said, "this is just a classic example of love just isn't always enough." She has made absolutely no progress on her case plan at all.

As I have have told everyone before the role of a foster parent often feels like life on a roller coaster. Thursday evening I was opening the mail and got a letter from our resource worker stating that the 15th was her last day. Morgan's case worker also is due to have a baby girl in April. Along with the pressure of the panel review I could just feel my world start to crumble. These are the two people that I trust immeasurably. I can't imagine being in the DFCS world without them! I tried to calm myself down.....tell myself that even though I don't see purpose or reason that God does. So many times in my life it seems that I just can't find reason in a situation and I struggle and struggle. Years or sometimes months later I look back and say Thank You God for he always know what is best for my life. So now, that is how I always try to calm myself. It seems that "his ways are higher than ours" is often a mantra in my life. So, after calming down I tried to re-focus on the next day and what it might bring.

Friday morning me and Morgan had such a sweet time together before leaving to go (and yes she did have to go with me). When we got there everyone was very friendly. They asked me and Morgan some basic questions and gave me the opportunity to express anything that I would like the panel to know and we then went outside in the hall to wait. Morgan knew nothing of the tension that was so thick as she played with her toys and we read books. I was really worried that she would want her mother and run to her even though everyone that sees them together assured me that she wouldn't. Well, I was very surprised when she seemed to want nothing to do with her. I could tell that it really upset her mother. We didn't have a long wait until everyone came out and our case worker and CASA worker said that they thought that they really got their point across. We talked about Morgan and how she was doing and about 10 minutes later they called everyone back in to tell them their recommendation.

To my surprise they recommended termination!!! That means that they recommended that the court terminate the mothers biological rights to Morgan. I asked my case worker, "So, just how big is this?" and she responded "HUGE!" We will have a court date within 30 days to file for termination. That means that before we go to court the judge will read all of this and know everything that was said and what the recommendation was before he walks into the court room that day.

I am sure that this doesn't mean that I jumped off the roller coaster completely, but perhaps it does mean that the first few big hills are over and now we are onto the smaller ones towards the end of the ride.